 Turns out, we’ve all been duped. With a puffed chest, I’ve been sharing this whackadoodle idea of “The 7-Eleven Ride” with a few friends over the past few months. I’ve confidently shared that this is “a thing people do”. They ride 100 miles and stop every 20-ish miles at different 7-Elevens to eat roller meat (hot dog, brat, taquito, etc) and add an escalating topping at each subsequent stop. Our ride started with a confession and ended, thankfully, with far less dogs than I expected.  L to R: Fergus Coffey, Adam Bratton, Samuel Martin In mid-December a trifecta of cycling friends and hot dog fans gathered in a non-descript parking lot in South Charlotte surrounded by a cozy blanket of upper 30’s weather and sporadic drizzle. Today would be a glorious day to test our legs and stomachs. Temps were low, but spirits were high. We froggered our way on sidewalks and streets to the closest greenway access and started to settle into our 100-mile ride.  Within a few miles of our start, and as expected/enjoyed on these types of rides, the quick catch ups with the buds began ... Kids … Life … Work … yadda yadda. We’re all just excited to connect and find a day to spend in the saddle together. I can’t remember how it came up in the bike banter but Samuel Martin shared (AKA: came clean) that this was not “a thing people do” but rather a random idea that he came up with earlier this year. After a mile or so of giving Sam praise (and shit) for the idea we settled into our pace and were within striking distance of our first stop.  Thanks for the fantastic idea Samuel The excitement was building to see what type of roller meat selection they would have and who might make the most ridiculous dog and topping decision out of the gate. Turns out, 7-Eleven hadn’t gotten the memo that random cyclists would be showing up at 9am on a Sunday morning with penned-up hunger and full intentions to make bad digestive decisions. Chocolate éclairs, sticky buns and marginally hot coffee were on the menu for stop #1. (Full Disclosure, I brought Black Coffee Roasting Co's Instant Coffee along for the duration!) We made light work of this culinary delight and knew that the day had only just begun. Back to the bikes, pedals and dreams of a day filled with roller meat.
Promise was found upon walking in to stop #2 and smelling the glorious/deflating scent of semi-cooked meat on the never-resting rollers. It was time to “officially” kick off the roller meat portion of our ride. Little did I know, that some 7-Elevens only place a small number of dogs on their rollers at a time. As fate would have it, Samuel and Fergus Coffey, who were hammering the first 40 miles of the ride and leaving me behind, also got first dibs on the only two dogs on the rollers for the brave few who would dare test their Sunday Funday appetite. I was relegated to a fist full of chicken and Monterey Jack cheese taquitos. A coin flip to see which would be better in the long run … stay tuned.
Midway to our next stop, and just after rock hopping a stream due to a blown-out bridge thanks to Hurricane Helene, we ran into another suffer loving pal, Aaron Beaver, who would join us for the remainder of the day and only add to the sky high vibes. We’ve all been known to test each other’s will from time to time and the conversation turned towards the ups and downs of our various expeditions together. This new addition to the trifecta only added to the ridiculousness of the conversation and the concept of the ride to begin with. Nevertheless stop #3 was within striking distance and the excitement to see what type of offerings would be ready for us was mounting. Sure enough, another empty roller meat non-buffet awaited us. The next logical choice was an array of buffalo wings, chocolate milk, multiple slides of the freshest pizza this side of the Carolinas, Twix Bars and of course more of 7-Elevens finest roasted coffee beans.
I can’t tell you the last time I had gas-station wings, but I felt the need to stay consistent with gut bomb decisions throughout. A few more suspect adventure stories, fence hops, and exploration missions for new gravel and we were well on our way to stop #4.  The rain had started to fall as we approached the next stop, the farthest stop from our starting location, but the rollers were hot and ready for us. I was elated that I could FINALLY “enjoy” a hot dog with all the fixin’s that I was scheduled to experience at stop #1-3 … Samuel, Fergus and Aaron all clearly knew the assignment as well and the addition of topping was loose and free as we all feasted together!
We were gaining calories but burning precious daylight. The toppings, impending rain and total mileage all spiced things up a bit. We didn’t have time to embrace our team dog session, so we slammed our dogs, Gatorades, Sour Patch Kids, and coffee and headed towards stop #5. Snagging gravel, pavement, greenways and sidewalks as we made our way around Charlotte International Airport, one final stop remained. Maybe it was the mileage, maybe it was the 40-degree weather or maybe it was the liberal toppings that I added to my dog, but I remembered sheepishly walking into stop #5 with fingers crossed that the rollers would be idle.
Shockingly, the roller meat was once again absent from the final stop. I opted for a set of Tasty Cake Cupcakes while Samuel snagged a lemon pound cake & coffee, Fergus opted for half of a pound cake before replacing the rest with a Mocha Gel and coffee, Aaron legitimately can’t remember what he ate at that stage! The strict dog diet had clearly fallen off the rails, but we all felt marginally capable of limping out the final 20ish miles to get us back to our self-defined finish line.
As we approached our 100th mile, the pace began to noticeably slow. I can’t confirm nor deny if that was due to heavy legs, wrecked stomachs or the fact that we all knew our time on this completely made-up Roller Meat Ride was coming to an end. Nevertheless, we re-racked our bikes on our cars and walked across the street to Brawley’s Beverage to add the final hop-infused topping(s) to our magical day of dogs and human powered adventures.
I know what you're thinking ... all of this dog dialogue has you intrigued right? If so … a Slurpee version is already in the works for the warmer months! Stay tuned and start your gut training now!  Journal - Roller Meat RideComments are closed.
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